Here are some tips for caring for yourself, the caregiver. It's sometimes easy to forget to do this. Caregivers often put aside their own needs to help others. It's important to remember that you must also take care of yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of another person.
Admit your feelings if you're tired, isolated, helpless, angry, resentful or guilty. Talk to someone, join a support group and share concerns, especially with your elder, if possible. Support groups are also great places to get tips and resources. There is an Aging Parents Support Group at the UCSB Women's Center on the second Wednesday of the month, 12-1pm at the Women's Center. You can also find support groups through hospital senior services, religious service organizations such as Jewish Family and Children's Services and Catholic Charities, the United Way, hospices and Area Agency on Aging offices. Also check with the Family Caregiver Alliance and Alzheimer's Association.
Set reasonable expectations for yourself. Don't think you have to be all things to all people at all times. Set limits with your family, friends and parents, and stick to them.
Take care of yourself physically. Eat right, get exercise, use relaxation techniques. Try to keep regularity in your life. You are entitled to the same good care you are giving to other people.
Avoid destructive ways of coping such as alcohol, overeating or drug misuse.
Seek help when you need it, from family and friends, professionals and employers. You don't have to do it all yourself.
Maintain as many social activities and contacts as you can. Make personal time and plan occasions for your own pleasure and renewal.
Allow yourself a full range of feelings and don't be hard on yourself. Begin to acknowledge your own aging process, the losses and gains in your own life. Most of all, remember that there's no right or wrong way to do this work.
